Thursday, December 15, 2011

What a week!

Since leaving the hospital a few days ago, things have calmed down and I have started to process the magnitude of what has happened in the past week. Sitting on my bed, I can't believe that a week ago I had a malignant brain tumour removed. I heard my mother talking to someone about it on the phone and for a split second I thought 'geez, poor girl' then realised, that 'poor girl' was me!

I went back to my house the other day to collect a few things, which was the first time since leaving the house in such agony last Thursday. It was good to be there, but initially it felt a little weird. The last time I was in my room I honestly thought I was going to die. I have never been in such pain or so scared in all my life. I am so grateful to have my parents so close to me and a hospital 10 minutes down the road. Last time I was diagnosed, I had a week to process the diagnosis and wrap my head around the surgery. This time it all happened in a few hours, so it will take me a while to process. I was quite out of it on Thursday morning and didn't fully appreciate the extensive list of possible side effects from the surgery. People keep saying to me that I look remarkable for someone who had major brain surgery a week ago. Apparently it is remarkable that I can walk, talk, type and function. I would have to say that it was going to take a lot more than a 3cm brain tumour to stop me from talking!!!!!!! The reality is that I could have come out of the surgery a different person, but a week down the track I am pretty much the same - just with some cool new scars. I do notice that when I get tired I tend to drift to my left and it takes me a while to think of some words.

I had a bit of a traumatic day the other day when I went to have my bone and body scans done. I had to have a needle put in for the tests, but because my veins on my right arm had been hammered over the last week, they found it difficult to get a good vein. After a few attempts and a lot of tears they were able to access a vein. Lying there waiting to be scanned, I can't believe that this was once again my life. The technician was chatting to me and asking if this was a follow up from previous cancer, I had to reply, no, that once again I am starting all over and again and my two year follow up was the next day. Luckily the scans were all clear and I just have to deal with the brain tumour, which is a big enough deal.

My speedy recovery will be accelerated by my sentence at Mamma Bear's Health Retreat/Jail. Once again I have given my parents a few more grey hairs, but it is good for them to be kept on their toes! Once again we have been overwhelmed by phone calls, messages, cards, visits and gifts. It is amazing how quickly word spreads and how the community comes together. Today I had my staples removed, which wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be. I am sure this will make sleeping a lot more comfortable and even now I notice the ache in my head has subsided.

Next week is Christmas and in between making plans for the festive season, I will be going to see my radiation oncologist about the next step. I have heard that the radiation makes you dopey, bald and looks like you have a bad spray on tan. So basically, I will be like Brittany Spears having a break down; which I guess is better than Uncle Fester from last year!

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