Monday, May 24, 2010

Things I have learnt.....

As my journey to Shitville continues, there are a few lessons I have learnt along the way. I have learnt that no matter how many times I brush my teeth or eat mints, the metallic taste in my mouth is not going away. I have learnt that people react to bad news in very different ways and I can't expect people to react in the same way I would. Most people have be amazing and supportive, but there have been a few people who have just disappeared. I know that sometimes it is hard to know what to say, but it is better to call and say 'I don't know what to say' rather than say nothing at all. I have learnt that no matter how my mother tries to disguise egg and make me eat it, I always know it is in there! I have learnt that googling anything medical is not a good idea. I have learnt that sleeping tablets do not work as fast as general aneasthetic and counting back from ten doesn't work. I have learnt that I don't always have to put on a brave face and I can show people how I am feeling. I have learnt that I have a good shaped head to be bald and have a strange brown mark on my scalp. I have learnt that having eyebrows really makes a difference to how your face looks.

I have learnt to be more aware of changes in my body. Not feeling the 3cm tumour and the 17 enlarged lymph nodes scared me and now I notice everything! I noticed a strange tube like thing running down my side from my wound. I showed a few doctor friends and they were not encouraging. After having a look at it one replied 'Ewwww, I have never seen anything like it before. That is the strangest thing I have seen'. I had the same reaction from the radiologist, which was also less than encouraging. It turned out to be nothing, but it was good to have it checked. I have learnt to listen to my body, when I need a sleep, I just sleep. I have learnt that worrying about things doesn't change the outcome. I have learnt when any medical professional says, 'This may cause some discomfort...', that you should brace for pain and go to your happy place. I have learnt to appreciate being healthy and happy. I have learnt that sometimes having four anti-nauesea tablets isn't enough to stop you from being sick. I have learnt that my mother will do absolutely anything for me and at the age of 35 I still need her. I have learnt that no matter how sick I am feeling, I always feel better after a shower. I have learnt that I have amazing friends and family. I have learnt that I can't help but smile when I see Barney.

1 comment:

  1. Karen, you are such a brave woman. I love your openess and honesty. You are a truely admirable.
    Cress x