Sunday, March 6, 2011
I came to treatment today thinking that it was my third last and counting down the days until my last. As it happens, I miscalculated and today is not my third last treatment.....it is my last!!!!!! I have been thinking about this day since January 7th 2010, when my chemo started, but I still feel unprepared.
I started writing the above entry two weeks ago and I haven't been back to the blog since. My last day of treatment came as a pleasant surprise, but I wasn't mentally ready for it. I had my end date as April and it is a awesome that it is earlier, but it just feels weird. I didn't believe the nurse when she told me it was my last treatment and I made her check with the doctor and the pharmacy.....twice. Once it had been confirmed it was my last treatment - Mum cracked out a happy dance in the chemo clinic, I know she has been waiting for this day even more than I have. We then spent some time wondering how we would celebrate this momentous day. I feel like we have had celebrations for my birthday, Christmas and a few other family birthdays. So, the The night of my last treatment, I spent a quiet night at home alone. I know it was a great day, but I just wanted to spend the night alone. It still seems surreal to me that I have no more treatments. I will still have the joy of having a needle plunged into my chest every few weeks for the next 12 months, to flush the porta-cath, but at least it doesn't involve drugs which make you sick and bald and tired and gross.
I have also officially moved out of home, although there are still some items I have to pick up - lots of shoes and Barney! For the time being Barney is staying with mum and dad, with me having weekend access visits. I didn't realise just how much I would miss that fuzzy gold head and huge black nose. He and I have spent so much time together in the past 12 months, he is a huge part of my life and I miss him terribly. Luckily I still pop in during the week to see my parents, have dinner and see Barney.....not necessarily in that order of priority, but don't tell my mum!
Life is getting back to normal - I have had a haircut, am back at work full-time and the social life is definitely back on track! I can officially say that post-cancer - LIFE IS GREAT!